well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
