he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
tell me about the eggs
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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