Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
