Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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