i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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