Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
