omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize