this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
