Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
