Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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