Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
