they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
