there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They took my balls.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
