I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
