...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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