At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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