pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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