we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize