He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
