how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
