ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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