Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
