Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
