i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
its liver damage thursday
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