i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
