I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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