I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
