You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
