Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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