i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
