doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
