between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
