There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
