Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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