We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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