i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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