these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
