his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
