wanna go halves on a baby?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
