I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
