Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
