"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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