I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm getting married
To pizza
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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