lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
