All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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