My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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