Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
