Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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