There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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