I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize