so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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