im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
