Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
