I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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