Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
