I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
