Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Randomize
