Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize