you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
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Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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