Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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