her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
