I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
