He kissed a someone with a penis
either way he was missing a nipple.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
